


Junkrat's Christmas Spirit

by InsaneJul



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Crack, Fluff, Friendship, Mistletoe, Multi, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8822167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneJul/pseuds/InsaneJul
Summary: Junkrat gets hold of some mistletoe and needless to say it doesn’t go well.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I did this instead of studying for finals so yay anyway I really felt like writing some mistletoe shenanigans and this is what we got. Mostly friendship, none of it is really romantic at all. I just like the Overwatch heroes being friends. No Talon guys, because this technically takes place at Watchpoint: Gibraltar with all the Overwatch people.

            “Christmas spirit” was not so widespread at Watchpoint: Gibraltar. Only a fraction of the soldiers training there even celebrated it, and when you’re essentially a criminal vigilante, you stop caring about that sort of thing. But there was still room for it in _someone’s_ heart—just not the person you’d expect.

            Junkrat didn’t have much to contribute in strategy meetings and no one cared about what he had to say—not like it ever made much sense. But somehow, he decided Christmas was something they all needed to care about, snuck out of the base, and got mistletoe—god knows where he found it, probably in a garbage can. This might have been harmless, had he decided to keep it with himself and decorate his room with it—but oh no. No, in his self-proclaimed genius he hung bunches of the repugnant plant all over the base. Nowhere was safe.


	2. Ana and Fareeha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pharah is not amused. Her mother is.

             Pharah, in an attempt to avoid awkward moments, wandered the base and mapped out where the mistletoe was and tried to spread the word so they would be able to stay away from the sensitive areas. But not even she could find all of it, and not everyone was so motivated to avoid it in the first place. “Mother!” she cried when she found Ana sipping tea and seated directly under a nicely tied bundle of mistletoe. “You’re under the mistletoe.”

            “Why don’t you come and kiss me then, dear?” Ana smiled warmly at her daughter, who paused, then bent and kissed her mother on the cheek. “Thank you, Fareeha.”

            “If you stay here, there is a chance Jamison will pass by and attempt to do the same,” Fareeha warned, which her mother waved off.

            “He has no chance with me. We are all perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves, Fareeha. Try to relax.”

            She smiled at her mother and walked away then, letting the older woman’s words sink in. As Reinhardt passed by her, he greeted her jovially and asked, “Have you seen your mother around, little one?”

            “Ah, yes, she is in the kitchen drinking tea,” Pharah told him, but after he thanked her and went to meet her mother she remembered the offensive plant hanging above her head—it probably wouldn’t be an issue, she thought, until she heard a booming laugh from the kitchen. Well, it was better than anyone else trying to kiss her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anahardt snuck in. Couldn't help myself :)


	3. Lúcio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lúcio bumps into Symmetra in an inopportune place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked myself, what's the most awkward pairing for this?

            Lúcio had been told not to skate around the base, but he preferred it to any other mode of transport. It may be dangerous, but he’s the type to live on the wild side! He waved to D.Va as he rolled on by, and she winked back. Cruising around the base was fun—the way the lighting changed as he moved on—light wind brushing his cheeks—battle cries warped by his own personal Doppler Effect—everything felt so real.

            Then he was on the ground, with a woman’s voice shouting at him in anger. Lúcio managed to pull himself up onto his knees, rubbing his elbows and focusing his vision on the woman indelicately on her rear end in front of him, already lecturing. Ugh, Symmetra. How did he run into the _one person_ he absolutely couldn’t stand? She’ll hate him even more now!

            “Haven’t you been told that skating in the base is forbidden?” She snarled. “This place may be an embodiment of chaos but at least there are _some_ rules to retain order! Now you’ve injured us both.”

            “Look, Symmetra, it was an accident, okay?” Lúcio decided he didn’t want to get in another fight with her. “I’m sorry.”

            Apparently, the extra Christmas spirit around the base had had its effect on her too, since she rose to her feet, tossed her head, and said, “all right then.” He almost smiled as he pulled himself up, and she quickly reminded him, “Don’t do it again.”

            “Now kiss and make up!” D.Va shouted from the hallway. The two almost-enemies turned in surprise to face the girl, who was grinning devilishly.

            “That is not going to happen,” Symmetra responded curtly.

            “But…” Hana pointed upwards and they saw that they had crashed directly beneath one of Junkrat’s little Christmas surprises. Both parties swallowed and faced each other.

            “We do not have to follow this particular tradition,” Symmetra stated, though her voice trembled slightly.

            “Of course you do!”

            “Hana!” Lúcio hissed, but before he could get into a real fight, a pair of lips landed very, very lightly on his own. He tried not to suck in a breath in surprise. Symmetra remained there for less than a second, keeping her lips entirely still. It was like kissing a statue.

            She straightened and did not meet his eyes. “I suppose all is settled now,” she said, and walked quickly out of the room. Hana would not stop giggling.

            “Shut up, Hana. That was the most awkward kiss in the history of the universe. I’m going to murder Jamison.”


	4. Hanzo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo is in a bad mood--maybe he can be cheered up with a kiss?

            Hanzo had woken up on the wrong side of the bed. He growled at almost anyone who tried talking to him. After a quick breakfast, he decided to get his anger out on the training floor; better than yelling at everyone for no reason.

            He retrieved his bow and arrows and went down to the target range. Only one other person happened to be there—a certain annoying cowboy. He winked at Hanzo.

            “Good mornin’, Hanzo,” McCree drawled, then turned his attention back to the moving targets. Hanzo tried not to roll his eyes or show his annoyance in any other way, and made his way to another set of targets to practice. They had been shooting in silence for about twenty minutes when McCree spoke again. “You hear about what’s been going on the last few days?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Jamison set up mistletoe all around the base,” Hanzo faced him at that statement, and Jesse wiggled his eyebrows. “It’s that time of year.” 

            “That is the plant you are supposed to kiss people under?” Hanzo clarified.

            “That’s the one.”

            “Has anything truly serious occurred?”

            “Not as far as I’ve heard.”

            Hanzo breathed out of a sigh of relief. “I’m sure nothing very bad will come of it.”

            “Really?” McCree had been walking closer this whole time, and was now standing directly in front of him.

            “Yes. Why do you think otherwise?”

            “Well, if you’d look up…” Jesse purred. Hanzo swallowed hard and glanced upward. There was, undeniably, a red-ribbon-decorated assortment of leaves above them.

            “Jesse…”

            “You know what that means!” shouted Genji from the other side of the room. Hanzo whirled around in shock.

            “Ha ha, I sure do!” McCree yelled back, and grabbed Hanzo’s arms.

            “What are you doing??” Hanzo started wriggling but he was no match for McCree’s natural strength.

            Genji darted right up to Hanzo and slowly lifted his mask so Hanzo could see his brother’s scarred face. It almost brought tears to his eyes.

            “Merry Christmas, brother,” Genji whispered, and pressed his lips gently to Hanzo’s cheek. Then he darted back out as if nothing had happened. Jesse let go of the archer, who turned on him in rage and confusion.

            “Did you two plan this?”       

            “Might have,” the cowboy chuckled lightly, then took another look at Hanzo’s face. “All right, Hanzo, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any harm by it.”

            Hanzo sighed. “I’m sure you meant the best.”

            “Does that mean there’s a chance I could get a kiss too, or…”

            “Go back to training, Jesse.” 

            “Didn’t hear a no!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha ha, tricked you.


	5. Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mercy gets a visit from our favorite junker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Junkrat pranking Mercy. I do not know why.

            Dr. Ziegler probably should have checked her office for mistletoe, she thought miserably in the aftershocks. She should have been more on her guard. She should have seen through the base’s trickster trying to sneak into her office.

            The thing was, Jamison was always hurting himself somehow. It was generally burns from misuse of explosives, but it could really be anything. He got himself hit a lot, too. So when he asked to be let in, she didn’t hesitate to open the door and ask him what was wrong this time.

            “Well the thing is doctor, I’ve got me a terrible case of Christmas blues. And only a kiss can cure me!”

            She rolled her eyes. “Very funny, Jamison. If there really is nothing wrong then I will ask you to— “

            “Aw, but you have to!”

            “And why is that?” Angela asked sharply.

            He only grinned his crooked, tooth-lacking grin and pointed upwards. There was, indeed, a sprig of mistletoe hanging above the entrance to her office. She groaned. “Did you do this solely to spite me?”

            “Yup!” He crowed triumphantly, and she sighed in defeat. Mercy leaned in to press a quick kiss to his mouth, which he almost giggled straight through.

            “If you tell anyone about this, you will seriously regret it. I am going to sterilize my mouth now, if you don’t mind.”

            “Wait! I actually am burnt!”

            “You should have thought of that before you decided to pull a prank on me!” Angela called back and shut the door.


	6. Zenyatta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zenyatta learns what mistletoe is!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I picked the two cutest characters and threw them in a room together. You're welcome.

            Zenyatta glided easily through the halls of the base, reveling in the quiet solitude. He began to wonder, after a few minutes, where everyone could be. He popped his head into the kitchen—empty. The lounge as well. No one was in the medical bay, though there was a possibility that Dr. Ziegler was in her office behind it. _Strange,_ he thought. Then a whoop of delight startled him out of his musings, and he turned to see Mei skate into the hallway, leading the way with her ice gun. She stopped immediately as she made eye contact with him.

            “Hello, Zenyatta!” She said brightly. “How are you today?”

            “Oh, I am fine, young one. Do you know where everyone is?”

            “I would assume on the training floor or hiding from Junkrat,” She giggled. “There is mistletoe all over the base! I think he has made himself a game of getting everyone to kiss each other.”

            “Yes? Is that a winter tradition?”

            “It is!” She sparkled with the joy of educating. “When two people are together beneath mistletoe, they are supposed to kiss.”

            “My, that is a strange tradition—but sweet, too, I suppose.”

            “Yes, I think so too!”

            Zenyatta glanced around the room and saw that there was a green package hanging from the ceiling a few feet away. He concocted a quick plan, and said, “Mei, is there a spider over there?”

            She took the bait so easily and walked directly underneath the mistletoe, searching for the creature. “I don’t see one, Zenyatta. What did it—” but was cut off completely by a cold metal face plate touching her mouth. He lingered there for a moment, simply holding his face against her lips. She stared in silence.

            Zenyatta leaned back and floated backwards to give her a little distance. “It wasn’t a spider, only some of Junkrat’s kissing plants!” She looked up and started laughing.

            “Oh, you gave me such a shock! Ha ha! That was very sweet, Zenyatta! You must have so much Christmas spirit!”

            He simply laughed in return and the two went their separate ways.


	7. Winston

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracer challenges Winston to a race, but for a different prize than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love their friendship SO MUCH and no one can take that from me.

            Winston knew better than to race Tracer, but when she challenged him it was hard to say no. There was snow all over and she was bouncing up and down in the cold, calling out to him, “Winston! Come on, Winston! Let’s see who’s faster in the cold!”

            “It will be you,” he said as though exasperated, but wearing an affectionate smile. “It is always you, Lena.”

            “No one else wants to be outside. Come on, just a quick race! I’ll even give you a head start!”

            Winston laughed then took a position beside her. “Where does the race end?”

            “Over by that pole, do you see?”

            “Yes, I do.”

            “Okay, you get a ten second head start! Are you ready?”

            “Yes.”

            “Three, two, one, and go!” He pounded toward the pole she had pointed out, knowing that once she started moving she would beat him easily, but that was no reason not to give it his all. The snow flurrying lightly around him made the racetrack beautiful, and he could feel it get caught in his fur. Something about winter was lovely, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he enjoyed it quite a bit. Lost in these thoughts, he almost missed the sound of Tracer’s feet slapping the ground as she caught up to him.

            “Whee!” She shouted as she blinked past him, winking as they made eye contact. He couldn’t stop smiling. She only beat him by a few seconds, but it was as he predicted, and as things always were.

            Winston panted lightly. “Congratulations, Lena. You have won a competition you know you can always win yet again.”

            “Not this time! Wasn’t about winning this time, Winston!”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Look up!” Lena grinned and pointed upwards. Just under where she had set their ending place, there was one of Junkrat’s bunches of mistletoe. Winston started laughing.

            “So you wanted to trick me?”

            “Yup!” she tackled him in a great big hug, both of them laughing with snow caught in their hair. Lena kissed her friend right on the cheek, her own face flushed from the cold and exertion. “Happy Christmas, love.”

            “Merry Christmas to you too, Lena.”


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We gotta get this mistletoe out of here before something really bad happens. Turns out that's easier said than done.

            Eventually, Angela and Fareeha decided this madness had to stop. One more random kiss and someone was going to lose an eye. Or their dignity. Or anything in between. After finding D.Va and Lúcio making out in the hallway, then McCree cornering Hanzo on the training floor (“again??”), then Torbjörn attempting to take apart Bastion under the mistletoe, (“It’s still a sign of affection! I’d kiss him! His circuits are beautiful!”) the amusement had faded.

            Pharah and Mercy took to their winged armor and flew up to the ceilings to take every single one down. No room was left unchecked. Soldier: 76 muttered, “about damn time,” when Angela took one down in the lounge where he was reading. They threw the offending plants in the garbage and went on with their days.

            The next morning, mistletoe was up, just as it had been before! Angrily, Pharah took them all down again before Angela could even see it. Junkrat was nowhere to be found to scold once again. How had he even gotten up there in the first place? A bomb? How had he done it so quickly?

            Angela woke up before anyone else the next morning, and as she yawned her way down the hall, she found a leaf on the floor. Shocked, she looked up, and found mistletoe above her head! It had been gone yesterday! She went to wake Fareeha, who snarled. “It was there yesterday morning, too! Where is he getting all this stuff and why does he care so much?”

            After taking it all down, the two women decided to stake out the security cameras and see how Junkrat was getting the mistletoe up. They were almost falling asleep, at around two in the morning, when a slight crash woke Fareeha, who shook Angela’s shoulder and pointed at the feed from the lounge. A flash of bright orange went through the darkened room. “Is that him?” Angela asked. Pharah shushed her, and switched through the hallway cameras. “Wait, stop!” Angela grabbed Fareeha’s arm and stopped her from continuing. As they watched, Junkrat flew down the hallway, hanging mistletoe haphazardly on the ceilings from his seat on Roadhog’s shoulders. The bigger man ran through the whole base with Junkrat on his shoulders, taking him everywhere he could fit another bundle of mistletoe. The two flying soldiers followed their path, completely dumbfounded.

            “Did he really get Roadhog to help him?”

            “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”

            “Well, what should we do about it?”

            Fareeha leaned backward in her chair and thought. “I may have an idea.”

            As usual, the two took down the mistletoe in the morning, and went to the cameras at night to watch the two junkers set up their plants once again.

            Around two in the morning, same time as before, Junkrat and Roadhog ran through the halls with mistletoe. But before they could get anywhere, they were stopped by a large woman standing in their way.

            “If you want to keep putting up your stupid plants, you’ll have to go through us!” She boomed. Zarya stepped into the light before them, with Hana sitting on her shoulders in a mimicry of the junkers.

            “Quick, hog, get around them!” Roadhog tried to run past, but he was too slow. Hana knocked the mistletoe from Junkrat’s hands.

            “Yeah, that’s how you do it!” She cheered.

            “No! I like my mistletoe!” Junkrat whined. He suddenly looked straight at Hana with a gleam in his eyes. “I’ll fight you for it.”

            “Fight _me _?”__

            “Chicken style! Unless you’re too chicken,” he taunted, which worked wonders on her competitive spirit.

            “Come on, Zarya. We can take them on!”

            “Easily,” the larger woman laughed and rushed forward to give Hana her advantage.

            “I’m not surprised,” said Angela.

            “I’m not too interested to see who will win,” Fareeha smiled at the doctor. “Let’s just go to bed and see the results in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope my writing correctly conveyed my mental image of Roadhog just bolting through the halls with Junkrat on his shoulders throwing mistletoe on the ceiling, and then Zarya dramatically appearing with little Hana on hers. I was laughing the whole time I wrote this.


End file.
